


sweet creature (but we're still young)

by kittpurrson



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Frottage, Intercrural Sex, Isak is 15 and Even is 17, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Summer Vacation, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 09:51:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10806723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittpurrson/pseuds/kittpurrson
Summary: Isak meets seventeen-year-old Even Bech Næsheim at Tyrifjorden on his fifteenth birthday.Or: the one where Isak tries to convince the boy next door to put his hands on him.





	sweet creature (but we're still young)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [desert_coffin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/desert_coffin/gifts), [colazitron](https://archiveofourown.org/users/colazitron/gifts).



> WARNING: ISAK IS FIFTEEN FOR MOST OF THIS. 
> 
> If that's not something you're comfortable with, then this isn't the fic for you. Please skip to the endnotes if you want more details on what exactly the boys do before Isak turns 16. He is only a year under the age of consent, but he IS definitely and undeniably underage. Even is not. Isak is 15, and Even is 17, and it IS an issue for Even.
> 
> -
> 
> Anyway:
> 
> Do you remember what it was like to be 15 and want somebody so badly that you'd nearly do anything? How it feels to see everyone around you hooking up for the first time and not understand the point of it, until suddenly there's that moment you look at someone and think 'oh, shit, I could climb them like a tree?' The first time I had one of those moments, I was fifteen, and away with my much older friends. I didn't get to do my climbing. I figured Isak should get his chance to.
> 
> This one is for my Twitter girls: people I can say anything to and get the hottest headcanons in in response. Y'all are the ultimate blood coven. I love you.

 

1.

Isak and his family had been going to the cabin on Tyrifjorden for as long as he could remember. When he was a kid, it was always his highlight of the year, and even now, almost fifteen, Isak loved it. His family had known everyone in their lakeside community forever—he’d grown up with Ida and Carl and the other kids, really, all of them so close in age. The group had changed so little in all the years he’d been coming that they’d become an extended family, almost, and every year he looked forward to catching up with the familiar faces—seeing his father finally relax with the men over beers and his mother be herself amongst old friends.

If the community was a family, then their black sheep was the Bech Næsheims.

The family had taken over the small, westernmost cabin in the community when Isak was seven, but had visited the lake only seldom for their first couple of years. They constantly fought with each other and never stayed the full summer like everybody else did.

Their son, Even, seemed caught in the middle of it, and had hardly ever come out to swim or play with the other kids. Mats, the oldest in their little group, always said that Even was a weirdo, and Isak was inclined to agree. The boy was sort of intense, always wanting to sit inside and watch movies even when the weather was beautiful. The kids had soon learned to leave the older boy alone.

And then, the summer Isak turned twelve, Even’s family had left about a week into the summer without a word to anybody—half their lights left on, the back door unlocked. Carl’s dad had looked out for their boat for them, but nobody had heard a word.

Until now.

Even Bech Næsheim was back at the lake this year with his mother, and everything was different.

Isak’s father pulled the car in outside number 12, and Isak was surprised to see a gangly boy leaning over the railings of number 13’s balcony, a cigarette hung artfully between his lips. His blond hair was perfectly coiffed and gravity defying, and even from below, Isak could see his long legs pressing against the wooden slats.

If fourteen year old Isak Valtersen had made a list of all of the things he found uncomfortably attractive in another boy, this one would tick off every single thing twice, with an extra large exclamation mark.

The boy looked down and caught Isak’s eye, then drew the cigarette away from his mouth. He smiled, showing his teeth. Isak couldn’t help it—he flushed, looking away as quickly as he could, feeling a shock of something run through his body.

“Who’s that?” Isak breathed, and his father glanced up, before raising his own eyebrows.

“Don’t you recognize Even?” His mother said, before his father could answer. “It looks like they finally decided to come back.”

“Even Bech Næsheim,” his father said, glancing up at the boy with only feigned interest. “He got taller.”

 

 

2.

The summer always started with a barbecue by the lake for Isak’s birthday, and this year was no exception. There was one notable difference, though. Now, for the first time in years, Even actually showed up—Isak watched him ingratiate himself with Carl and Mats with ease, swiftly evading Thea’s flirtatious advances and drawing raucous laughter out of Ida.

Isak sat with Jakob on the thick picnic blanket, picking at the grass in front of him. Jakob was talking about something or other—his first year at upper secondary, and how he’d finally touched his first boob—but Isak was hardly listening.

Even had his lips wrapped around a beer bottle, taking slow sips and laughing between them. His tongue darted out to lick his lips. Isak watched him swallow with a dumb fascination, because watching somebody drink a beer had never been this fascinating before.

And then Even turned his head and caught Isak’s eye… and he winked.

It wasn’t even a very good wink. Even’s other eye twitched too much with it, and it was barely noticeable enough to count, but Isak saw it. He saw it and he felt his heart skip, which was the most ridiculous rom-com bullshit that he usually teased Eva about, but… wow. This boy was something else.

Across the grass, Ida’s mother called for silence, and Isak looked up expectantly as his own mother emerged with the cake. He was sure she hadn’t made it herself, but the proud smile on her face was enough to have him smiling back. Marianne was at her best at the cabin. Isak appreciated it.   

Even followed her progress across the grass to Isak, his mouth breaking into a smile as he saw where she was stopping. Isak blew out the candle and snuck a look Even’s way.

Well, at least he knew what he was wishing for this year.

-

The sun went down and the festivities continued, everybody getting toasty around a campfire. Isak felt his whole body go rigid as Even settled down next to him, filling the small gap between Isak and Thea with his long limbs.

“So, it’s your birthday?” he said, as his body warmed Isak’s side far more than the fire ever could.

“Yeah, Issy’s birthday starts off the whole summer,” Thea giggled, batting her eyelashes at Even. “You don’t remember?”

Even ignored the fluttering eyes, his whole attention on Isak.

“Issy?” he asked. He looked Isak up and down, not bothering to disguise his gaze.

“It’s Isak,” Isak replied, hating how his voice wobbles.

“Yeah, he’s the baby of the group.” Thea’s voice was like a distant memory.

“Oh, really?” Even’s eyes lingered on Isak’s mouth, and Isak practically felt it go dry. “And how old are you?”

“Fifteen,” Isak said, and Even’s eyebrows shot up.

He cleared his throat, leaning back away from Isak until his side felt cold.

“Well, happy birthday,” he said, before standing up again. “It was good to meet you again.”

Isak had no idea what had just happened.

 

 

3.

Contrary to everyone’s expectations, Even didn’t keep to himself anymore. It seemed like he was everywhere—at the communal dinners, and on the hikes through the woods, and playing impromptu tennis without a net. Isak didn’t mind at all, although he couldn’t for the life of him figure the boy out. He was constantly hot and cold with Isak, smiling and giving him attention one minute and ignoring him in favour of literally anything else the next.

Two weeks into the summer, Isak was just about used to the feeling he got when he saw Even around. His crush wasn’t reciprocated, and that was okay. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to that feeling, after all.

And then came a bright and sunny afternoon that changed everything.

He’d been swimming in the cool lake water for what seemed an eternity when he finally got bored of floating around and decided to swim back to the pontoon. It wasn’t much to write home about—just a raft in the middle of the lake—but it was sturdy and big enough for four, maybe five people to sunbathe on.

Isak pulled himself up onto the wooden platform, taking in Even and Mats snoozing in the afternoon sunshine. Mats, Isak had seen dozens of times over the years, through his transition from skinny runt to skater boy to almost-adult. Even was a different story. Isak tried to ignore the long expanse of Even’s pale skin, but it was difficult. So smooth and pale—the downy blonde hairs on his arms and legs barely visible in the sunlight.

Isak forced himself to look away, instead taking in the crystal water of the lake all around him. The sun felt warm on his wet skin, like it was caressing his whole body. He stretched out, lazily, trying to decide whether to join the others for a nap.

But when he looked down again, Even’s eyes were open, and trained on Isak’s thighs.

Isak swallowed hard.

He’d had something of a growth spurt since the last time they were here, and hadn’t thought much about it that morning, when he’d grabbed a swimsuit from the drawer. As a result, the shorts he was wearing were shorter than he’d have preferred—maybe a little tighter, too, since he and Jonas had started cycling to Grefsen together, and around the neighbourhood after school. His quads had definitely seen the benefit.

And now Even was looking.

Isak could only imagine what he saw—trembling, lily white thighs straining against his old shorts, skin prickled into goosebumps from the cool water. Isak had never felt younger or scrawnier than he did with Even’s eyes on him… but there was something else, too. Something in Even’s gaze, before Even hastily looked away, that made Isak’s cock throb in anticipation.

Even looked back at him, a strange expression on his face, and Isak panicked. His cock could get hard at a gust of wind hitting him wrong, these days, but it was another thing to feel himself getting it up as Even watched.

He did the only thing he could think of—turned away and dived back into the water.

When he resurfaced, Even was looking at him with a smile.

“Are you keen for a race?” Even asked.

Isak breathed out slowly, then allowed himself to smile back. “I’m the swimming master,” he said. “You’re going down.”

 

 

4.

The next time it happened, Isak swore to God it was an accident.

They were at Ida and Jakob’s cabin, on the easternmost edge, and they were all completely drenched. They’d been out messing around in the woods in the late afternoon when the rain started to come down; their joking game of football had turned into a muddy free-for all as they ran back to Ida’s, tramping through the garage and shedding their soiled shoes and clothes. Ida and Jakob’s parents had gone to town to buy food, and their big cabin—the biggest on the lake—was blissfully empty, so the gang had decided to shower there and take advantage of Ida’s mother’s wine collection, abundantly well stocked.

With the other two showers occupied, Isak had taken it upon himself to use the en suite in the master bedroom. His shorts were filthy, and his t-shirt plastered to his skin. He closed the en suite door behind him and peeled his clothes off, climbing into the shower and turning the water up as hot as he could. Even had looked good today—like he ever didn’t—with his hair pushed back and sweaty, and it was charming how bad he actually was at football, all legs and no coordination. Isak felt warm all over just remembering Even’s face as he tackled Mats, how he threw back his head and laughed when Mats jokingly pushed him aside and deftly took the ball past him.

Isak was thinking about Even, his hand sneaking down to palm his stiffening cock, when the bathroom door flew open.

Facing the door, with only the steam to cover his naked body, Isak froze as Even entered the room, struggling to get his wet t-shirt over his head.

Even pulled his head free at the exact moment Isak yelped, and his eyes went comically wide. He looked Isak up and down, taking in Isak’s hand—still closed around his dick—before his mouth dropped open.

Isak didn’t say anything; just felt himself grow harder under Even’s gaze, the tension between them growing and growing until, like an elastic band snapping, Even’s expression crumpled.

“I-” he began, then his mouth shut again. Isak felt the hope welling up within him, for a moment, but—

In a flash of limbs, Even span on his heel and got the hell out of there.

Isak didn’t let go of his cock.

 

 

5.

“Wow. You’ve had too much to drink.”

Isak was sitting on the steps of a cabin, but the world was too fuzzy to remember which one. He _did_ remember that the adults were drinking together at someone’s place—barring his own mother, who had gone to bed early. The other ‘kids’ had scrimped together a truly awful concoction by mixing whatever spirits they could find, and… okay, Isak had maybe exaggerated when he’d told them he’d drunk before. It _really_ wasn’t the same as beer.

“I haven’t,” he said nonetheless. Not at _all_ belligerently. “I drink all the time. I’m completely sober.”

He recognized Even’s footsteps even before he’d spoken, but he still felt a rush of something as Even sat down next to him.

“Oh yeah?” The other boy’s eyes were glassy, too, but it didn’t make him look drunk, Isak thought. Just really fucking beautiful. Especially when he smiled like that.

“Yeah,” Isak said, trying not to let the smile suck him in.

“Okay, hold your left arm out straight,” Even said. And—was he laughing? Was he seriously laughing at Isak right now?

“Now bring it up to touch your nose,” he continued, when Isak obeyed his instructions.

Isak moved his finger back towards his face slowly, staring it down.

“Ouch.”

Did he really just poke himself in the eye?

Even didn’t hold back his laughter now.

“Okay, no, you’re definitely not sober. Let me take you home.”

Isak stood up and the world got blurrier.

“No!” He said, desperately willing himself not to throw up.

“No?”

Even through the haze, Isak knew that would be a terrible idea.

“My mum will kill me,” Isak whispers. “She’s really... religious.”

Even looked up to the sky for a moment, like he was cursing all the decisions that got him here.

“Okay,” he said. “You’re coming with me.”

They made the short walk to number 13 in companionable silence. Inside, it was dark and empty.

Isak had never been in Even’s cabin before, but he felt like he knew it straight away. The kitchen, where Even made him down two glasses full of water, was a mirror image of his own. Upstairs, too, the cabin’s layout was almost identical to number 12—except that where Isak’s dad had the upstairs study to work from, Even had a bedroom covered in movie posters, and a door leading out to the wraparound balcony.

Even led him into the room and turned around while Isak changed into a t-shirt. Even had given him a pair of sweatpants, too, but they were ridiculously too long, pooling around his ankles. Isak kicked them off again, staring Even down defiantly when he turned back around to see what Isak had done.

“You can take the bed,” Even said, shaking his head. “I’ll go take the sofa, downstairs.”

Isak clambered into the bed with little coordination, finally turning to look at Even once he was settled among the pillows.

Even’s expression was unreadable for a moment, but his eyes burned into Isak. Again, Isak realized. This was the third—fourth?—time Even’s eyes on him had felt like burning.

“Hey, Even?” he asked, as Even finally stepped away

“Yeah, Isak?”

“Why do you look at me like that?”

Even paused, his hand lingering on the light switch by the bedroom door.

“Like what?” He asked, warily. His eyes found Isak’s, and Isak’s breath caught in his throat.

“Like that. Right now.”

“I’m not looking at you any special way, Isak.”

Isak didn’t believe that. He rolled his shoulders, stretching back into the pillows, and watched Even’s eyes track the movement.

“You could do something about it, you know.”

“Isak.”

“You could touch me.”

“Fucking hell. No, Isak, I couldn’t,” Even said, looking horrified at the thought. “Don’t even say that.”

The disgust on his face was real, and Isak felt a hundred times more sober just seeing it.

What had Isak just done?

“Oh,” Isak said, deflating, and turned to face away from Even.

Even lingered for a moment, then turned out the light and walked away.

 

 

6.

For the next few days Isak nursed his hangover and tried to avoid being left alone with Even. He felt utterly humiliated by the whole thing. Whereas before, Even’s eyes on him had felt welcome, exciting, now they felt like hot brands of shame. When he caught Even’s gaze, it was full of concern—and Isak didn’t want Even to pity him.

He just wanted to forget it had ever happened.

Even didn’t seem inclined to do the same. After a few nights of the families keeping to their own cabins, Even’s mother hosted a board game night. As usual, it devolved into tipsy charades amongst the parents, and the ‘kids’ sneaking off to the balcony to chill on the sofas. Isak had spent a dozen nights like this before, doing nothing and talking about nothing, but it all felt different in Even’s house. It was harder to escape him.

On his way back out from the bathroom, he lingered outside Even’s room, feeling the flush of embarrassment all over again as he remembered the thing’s he had said. How Even had shut him down.

Of course, Isak lingered too long. Even bounded into the hallway with some illicit beers and stopped at the sight of him, leaning against the wall and forcing Isak into making eye contact.

“You’re avoiding me,” he said, softly, and Isak couldn’t help but squirm.

“No, I’m not.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

Unfortunately, that was true. Isak didn’t feel like arguing with him.

“Okay, I’m avoiding you. So?”

“So I want to know why,” Even said, bustling into his room and setting the beers down on the bed. Isak awkwardly shuffled into the doorway, trying his hardest to lean against the door frame in a casual way. He couldn’t quite pull it off the way Even did.

“Are you embarrassed about the other night?” Even continued, and Isak shook his head.

He didn’t say anything else, and Even raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“Isak?”

“No,” Isak said, looking at his feet. “I’m not embarrassed.” Even waited, and Isak felt his cheeks heat up. “I just threw myself at someone who isn’t interested, why would that be embarrassing?”

He chanced a look up, and wished he hadn’t. Even’s eyes were kind.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested,” Even said, and Isak shook his head.

“Don’t. It’s fine.”

“No, Isak,” Even said, more urgently now. “I shouldn’t be saying this, but…”

“Then don’t.” Isak wanted the ground to swallow him up.

“You’re fifteen, Isak,” Even said, stepping closer to him.

He reached out, like he was hesitant to even touch him, and Isak shrugged his hand off. That was a bullshit excuse. Isak wasn’t accepting it.

“We’re only two years apart,” he said, narrowing his eyes.

“More than two,” Even says. “Nearly two and a half.”

“That’s a bullshit excuse,” Isak said out loud, this time, because it was. He could feel his cheeks heating up in anger, his breath getting heavier.

Even was standing much closer to Isak now. So close that Isak had to tilt his face to look at Even, could feel his warm breath.

If either of them moved an inch, they’d be kissing.

“So, what?” Isak egged him on. “You think I’m still a kid?”

Even gritted his teeth.

In one swooping move, he pulled Isak into him, crashing his mouth into Isak’s in desperation and pressing Isak into the doorframe. Isak fisted his hands in Even’s t-shirt and pulled him in, pulling Even as close as humanly possible.

Isak felt crazed. He’d never kissed anyone like this before—like, fuck, the kind of kiss the made him realize what all the fuss was about. He arched into Even as Even licked into his mouth, and then—

Even wrenched himself away, breathing hard, a despairing expression on his face.

“I definitely don’t think of you as a kid, Isak. That’s the problem.”

 

 

7.

They weren’t avoiding each other, exactly. But a line had been crossed, and Isak didn’t know how to step backwards. He didn’t even think he wanted to—but he didn’t think Even felt the same. Every time Even’s eyes met his, the other boy looked away.

Isak didn’t know what to think.

He was surprised, four weeks into summer, when Even knocked at the cabin door after breakfast with a blinding smile for Marianne. Isak watched as Even carried the empty plates into the kitchen, charming his mother, and couldn’t help the surprise that came over his face when the two came back into the dining room together.

“Even tells me you’re going into town today,” Isak’s mother said, smiling at him. “I must have forgotten, but how nice.”

She hadn’t _forgotten_ , Isak thought. For a moment he could have cursed Even, for letting her think that, but—she looked happy. Whatever he’d said in there, it had made her happy.

“ _Isak_ probably forgot,” Even said, training his eyes on Isak, and trying to hide his own smile. His eyes sparkled with mischief, and Isak shook his head, because he was completely screwed.

 “Probably,” Isak said, standing and stretching.

 Even smiled for real now, sauntering towards the door like he owned the place.

 “Mum has the car waiting,” he said. “You ready to go?”

 -

Even’s mother dropped them off outside the cafe with a stern look, and Even gave her his most innocent expression until she drove away.

It wasn’t exactly _town_ , Isak thought, looking at the small wooden building. But he wasn’t going to mention it if Even wasn’t.

As soon as the car was out of sight, though, Even tipped his head to the side, pointing at a small path into the woods, leading away from the cafe.

“Follow me,” he said. And Isak did.

They wound through the woodland path, not saying much to each other. They passed a turnoff to the campground nearby, and kept going, until the trees parted and the lake stretched out in front of them, sparkling and beautiful in the sunlight. It was so huge and blue and still, just the slightest wake on the surface in the morning breeze. Here, Isak couldn’t hear anything but the birds in the trees and the occasional splash from far away.

They were completely alone.

Even pulled off his t-shirt and kicked off his loafers, piling them on the grass, then lay down beside them. Isak tentatively followed suit, putting a good meter or two of space between them.

“Why did you bring me here?” Isak asked, after a moment.

“We used to come out here on dad’s boat,” Even said, and it didn’t really answer Isak’s question but he let it slide.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I used to spend hours out here. They could never get me to come in, I always got back all wrinkled like a raisin.”

Isak smiled at that mental image, turning his head to face Even.

"It’s really… nice.”

Even didn’t look back. His eyes took in the blue sky, the trees, all around them, and he smiled.

“Isn’t it? It just feels like you’re completely alone out here, just you and nature. Like you could be the only person in the world.”

“That sounds lonely,” Isak commented.

 It was only then that Even turned to face him, a secretive smile bursting across his face like a sunrise.

 “Not anymore, though. You’re here, too.”

 Isak couldn’t look away—but just as quickly as the expression came, it was gone again.

 —

 “Shit, I forgot protection,” Even said an hour later, wiping away beads of sweat from his brow. The morning was giving way into something hotter, already, and Isak could see the flush on Even’s chest as they emerged from the cool lake water to their sunning spot.

They’d been here for weeks, and Even hadn’t tanned much. For once, Isak was the more tanned person in the scenario.

But at least he’d put on some sun cream before breakfast.

“Don’t look at me. You told me we were going into town,” Isak said lazily, squinting over at Even as he shook himself off, settling back down on the dry grass.

“Ah, fuck it.” Even said, “I’ll just burn, it’ll be fine.”

“You’re an idiot,” Isak said. It came out horribly fond. “Do you want to go back?”

“No.” Even joined him on the grass. “I just wanna lie here for a bit.”

“And burn?”

“We can watch out for each other. So we don’t burn.”

Okay, then.

That sounded an awful lot like an excuse to stare, but Isak didn’t comment.

He settled down, stretching his arms out behind his head, and closed his eyes, trying not to feel Even looking. Tried just to feel the sun beating down on his chest, and the lake breeze rippling through his ever-longer hair… but it didn’t work.

His eyes crept open, and Even was looking at him—his eyes sweeping down the whole of Isak’s body again.

 _So, we’re playing this game again_ , Isak thought.

Isak didn’t flee this time when he felt himself hardening under Even’s gaze—tamped down the embarrassment that came with another person getting a clear impression of his boner through the thin material of his swim shorts. Fuck being afraid, he thought. They both wanted this.

He reached down and cupped himself, closing his eyes at just the slightest pressure.

Next to him, Even made a choking noise that has Isak’s dick jumping in his palm.

“Fucking hell,” he said, and Isak rolled his head over to look at him. Even’s eyes were wide, staring at Isak like he wanted to devour him.

“Fuck, Isak,” Even said. “Hey, you can’t just—”

Isak slipped his hand inside his shorts at the sound of Even saying his name. His breath was getting faster now, he could hear his own heart beating.

“What?” Isak asked, squeezing his eyes shut as he fisted his cock once, twice. “You don’t have to watch.”

He trailed his finger along the head of his dick, keening a little as he smeared it with precome.

“You’re not touching me,” Isak said, his breath ragged. “So it doesn’t count.”

Even swore under his breath, and Isak heard the rustling of him slipping his own hand into his swimsuit.

“Fifteen years old” he said out loud, and Isak could have laughed. “Jesus.”

“What were you doing at fifteen?” Isak bit back, still touching himself. “Don’t tell me you waited to be legal.”

He’d seen the others at school come back with those looks on their faces after parties. Heard Jonas’s panicky soliloquy on getting his dick sucked for the first time. Isak wasn’t a baby. He knew what he wanted.

His dick knew what it wanted, aching in his hand as Isak listened to the sound of Even tugging his own cock. Isak could feel himself getting wetter and wetter—and it had never been like this. Never had his own hand felt this way.

“That’s,” Even paused for a moment as if to listen right back as Isak gasped, the rhythmic slapping sounds of his hand sounding incredibly loud in the open air. “Not the same thing.”

Isak opened his eyes again. He would have said something else, then, but his gaze met Even’s, and he finally took in the hand moving frantically in Even’s shorts.

Before Isak could argue back, his eyes were rolling back and he was tipping over the edge, covering his hands, thighs, and swimsuit with his own release.

When he opened his eyes again, Even’s hands were equally white.

  
-

They rinsed off in the lake, and spent another hour or two lying in the grass together—closer now—just talking. Even told him about his life in Drammen; Isak talked about Jonas, his last year at Grefsen, his fears that they would be separated for upper secondary. They migrated closer and closer together, until their ankles were intertwined, and eventually Even took Isak’s hand, threading his fingers through Isak’s and pulling it into his chest.

Isak could have stayed there forever, but the afternoon grew colder. Even’s phone buzzed, and reality beckoned.

With sighs, they dressed themselves, leaving their little haven behind.

“Why did you bring me here, really?” Isak asked, as they made their way back up the trail.

Even didn’t stop to think about it—just kept walking ahead of Isak, leading the way.

“I was tired of not being alone with you,” he said, and Isak stopped in his tracks.

Noticing the lack of footfalls behind him, Even turned around, as Isak looked up at him and shook his head.

“Damn. You’re so fucking screwed.”

  
  


8.

As summer wore on, Isak took every chance he could to get Even alone. It wasn’t that easy—Even had ingratiated himself into the group like he’d always been there, and it seemed that everybody wanted him to join in on their plans: the trips on Thea’s parents’ boat, and the treks through the woods to the same places they’d played as kids, now hideaway spots for contraband like cigarettes and beer.

They spent as much time as they could, in those settings, getting to know each other, but it was hard not to touch. For that, Isak and Even had to steal their moments—desperate kisses behind trees as they let the others walk on ahead, and even one particularly memorable night that Isak’s family had been eating with Ida and Jakob’s, when Even had called Isak and just listened as Isak brought himself off in Jakob’s bathroom, the others barely 10 meters away.

Despite everything, though, Even still hadn’t touched Isak’s cock, and Isak hadn’t touched Even’s. Isak almost couldn’t believe it—they’d kissed until Isak came without warning, trembling in his jeans, and Even hadn’t met his eyes for days after. A week later, though, Even had told him, voice rough, about waking up for the first time in years to messy sheets, just rubbing off against the bed imagining what it would be like to finally touch Isak. They hadn’t spoken about it, but it hung in the air like a promise: _someday,_ he would have him for real, no more space between them.

Isak wanted the day to come sooner rather than later.

If he could, Isak would have spent all of his time alone with Even, but the others didn’t know about them. Even and Isak agreed on that, at least—that whatever this was, it couldn’t be shared. Some of their alone time—and some of the best of it—they barely did anything but sip kisses from each other’s mouths as they watched Even’s favourite films and played video games.

Isak told Even about his mother’s illness, eventually—or told him the parts Even hadn’t already guessed. About the good days and the bad: the Bible verses that sometimes peppered her texts to him and the days that she seemed afraid of everything, even her own shadow. Even told Isak about his parents’ divorce, and Isak felt them settling even closer, emotionally if not physically.

But by mid-July, Isak’s patience was wearing thin; he was desperate to be touched. When Mats announced that some girl he’d hooked up with at the campground had invited them to a party, Isak barely mustered up the enthusiasm to go, resigning himself to another night of keeping Even at arm’s length and not getting his hands on him.

Any other time, he might have thought the party was cool.

The campground was full of young people—some Isak’s age, but more already at upper secondary, and some clearly recently-post russ, still sporting ridiculous bus t-shirts.

Isak lost Even early on, dragged in and out of conversations by Jakob on his quest to touch yet another boob. Isak wasn’t sure why Jakob thought having a baby-faced wingman would help, but he wasn’t going to go and sit by himself.

It didn’t take long for Jakob to find a girl who looked interested, and Isak soon found himself sat on a thick log talking to her her friend—a pretty enough girl, probably no more than fifteen herself, with glasses that covered her whole face.

She was funny, Isak would give her that, but as time wore on and she scooted closer to him on the log, he began to feel uneasy. He cracked jokes back at her half-heartedly, trying to seem less awkward, but it didn’t help—she giggled and played with her hair and rested her slim fingers on his knee.

The girl—Cecilie, she said, though he promptly forgot again—didn’t seem to notice his discomfort. As her friend and Jakob disappeared into a tent, Isak looked around wildly, hoping to make his escape.

“Do you want to roast marshmallows?” The girl asked, and Isak could just imagine it: her wiping melted marshmallow from her glossy lips, or wanting him to toast her and feed her from his own stick. Even if he’d tried, he wouldn’t have found the idea appealing, and he was about to say so.

Except, when he looked up, there Even was.

Before Isak could answer her, Even was sauntering their way, a determined expression on his face.

“Hey,” Even said, with forced casualness. He stopped a few feet from the log so that he towered over them, the girl at Isak’s side taking in the six feet of gorgeous boy with a nervous laugh.

“Hey,” Isak managed, and Even looked him right in the eye.

 _Help_ , Isak tried to say with his face. _Get me out of this._

Something in Even’s demeanour softened as he searched his face, took in the girl’s hand on Isak’s leg.

“I was looking for you,” he said, after a moment of silence, then wiggled his eyes at Isak. “Did you still want to get home for midnight?”

Isak barely looked at the girl at his side—just nodded gratefully, and pushed up onto his feet.

  
-

They were barely five minutes onto the main trail when Even pulled Isak to the side and started following a poorly-cleared dirt path.

He took Isak’s hand in his and tugged him along through the undergrowth, finally stopping as they reached a point deep in the trees, the only light from the moon spilling through the canopy of the trees.

“You’re killing me,” Even said as they finally stopped, pulling Isak into his chest. He cupped Isak’s face in his hands and—as if he was starving for it—Even fucking devoured him. His lips on Isak’s were chapped, but Isak loved it, letting Even’s tongue part his mouth for a filthy kiss, Even biting and sucking Isak’s tongue into his mouth until Isak had to come up for air.

“Shouldn’t have left me alone,” Isak griped, as Even’s hands dropped down to grip him tight, arms encircling his back. “That fucking girl, what the fuck.”

“Sorry,” Even panted, and Isak stopped his mouth with more kisses, taking all that Even would give him.

Even would stop him, he knew—and soon, probably, he thought. He could feel Even growing hard against his leg, knew that Even must be feeling Isak’s own aching cock pressing into his thigh.

“Fuck,” Even said, but he didn’t pull away this time.

Instead, he pulled Isak closer, sinking down onto the twig-strewn floor, ignoring the snapping sounds beneath his knees and lying back until Isak was half on top of him. With one hand on the back of Isak’s head, he pulled him back in for an increasingly hot kiss…

And his other hand skimmed down Isak’s back, until it rested on his ass. It pulled Isak down, creating delicious friction on his cock.

And that was new. Isak’s dick throbbed at the sensation, feeling Even’s dick jump against his leg in return.

“Please,” Isak said, as soon as he realised what was happening. “Fucking hell, Even, touch me. I wanted you to be touching me.”

“Fuck,” Even swore under his breath again, his hips stuttering up into Isak’s as he pressed kisses to Isak’s neck. “Isak, you shouldn’t want this.”

“Does it feel like I don’t want this?” Isak gritted out, rolling his hips down onto Even’s. He wanted nothing more than to pull their shorts down, feel the shape of Even’s cock against his own—but he knew that might make Even stop. He didn’t want Even to stop.

“You should want someone like her,” Even said, clenching his eyes shut as Isak rutted against him. Isak felt his whole body trembling—or was it Even’s? He could barely tell them apart at this point, if he was being honest. “Someone better for you.”

“Don’t tell me what’s good for me,” Isak said, pulling Even’s face back up to meet him in the eye. “Shut up. Just shut up.”

He smashed his lips against Even’s, hoping to God that he wasn’t coming across as desperate as he felt. He just felt invincible, in that moment.

He hadn’t meant it literally, his _shut up,_ but Even listened. Even said nothing but Isak’s name as they rubbed off on each other on the dirty woodland floor. He rolled them over to rub his shorts-clad cock deliberately over Isak’s hipbones, his thighs, a slow torturous tease, and then finally back into the ‘V’ of his groin until their dicks met again, and Isak saw stars. Cock pulsing against Even’s body, Isak came with a long groan, thoroughly embarrassed at his own noises.

Even didn’t seem to care, just smoothed his sweaty hair back from his face and kissed his cheeks over and over as Isak trembled his way through his orgasm. His hips jerked against Isak’s sensitive body until Even finally shuddered his way into the same, the wet rush of come making obvious marks on both of their shorts.

In that moment, neither of them said anything.

But it was the happiest, scariest moment of Isak’s life.

 

 

9.

With only a week until the end of summer, Even and Isak were avoiding talk of the future. The time they had together was fleeting enough—and Even, for all that he’d taken things further in the heat of the moment, had pulled back enough again that Isak wondered if that night by the campsite was nothing more than a fever dream. They’d crossed a line. Isak knew that even as it was happening.

They still kissed, now, and Even still looked, and Isak still got off… but Even’s hands were kept to himself, and his boner was noticeably absent from the party. Isak understood that Even felt guilty, but he still didn’t agree with his reasoning. He didn’t want his age to ruin a perfectly good thing.

Whatever the thing was.

It was completely undefined, even now. Isak didn’t know if it was just a summer thing, for Even, but for Isak it was definitely so much more. Maybe someone cooler could have left it at that, a summer thing, and left it there as it was. Just a perfect fling, resigned to history.

The night before Even was due to go back to Drammen, though, Isak couldn’t take it anymore. It was too important to him.

They were hanging out on Even’s balcony sofas, just the two of them, while Marianne and Terje cooked with Even’s mother downstairs. Marianne had become Even’s biggest fan, it seemed, and Even’s mother had taken it upon herself to celebrate the boys’ ‘unexpected friendship’ with a leaving dinner, just the two of them.

They sat close on the chairs, but far enough apart to look innocent should their parents suddenly join them. It drove Isak nuts as he sat there, wanting to reach out and touch Even. Or to say something. He didn’t know what, though.

What could he say? Would Even really want to keep this up? Isak would be fifteen for another ten months, and Even lived in a completely different city.

Feeling the desperation rise up in him, Isak could only bring himself to ask for the firsts Even hadn’t given him.

He reached out for Even’s hand, and let Even twist their fingers together. On impulse, he leaned in, pressing a sweet kiss to Even’s mouth.

“What are you doing?” Even asked, eyes darting around warily. “They could come up here any minute.”

“We could go to your room,” Isak said. “We could lock your door.”

Even shook his head, and Isak kissed him again. Even’s eyes fluttered shut, and Isak’s heart leapt in his chest.

Even kissed him back: a careful press of mouth to mouth that felt strangely chaste after all they’d shared.

“It’s our last night,” Isak tried. “Don’t you want to?”

Even flinched, and Isak felt that desperation again. He raised Even’s hand to his mouth, closing his lips around two of his fingers and sucking.

Even’s eyes darkened, but he gently withdrew his hand, fingertips lingering on Isak’s bottom lip and dragging it open.

“Isak,” Even said. “Hey.”

Isak pulled back, now, trying to hide the flush on his own cheeks.

“So this is it?” Isak asked. Part of him was angry at the idea. Like that would be it, his perfect summer would just be confined to his memories, and he’d go back to Oslo feeling a thousand times older and braver with nothing but a dream of a perfect connection to show for it.

Even hesitated, then kissed him once more. The taste of him—it was so familiar. Isak wondered if he’d forget that, soon enough.

“I guess,” Even said softly, and Isak’s heart clenched. “You’ll meet someone else soon enough.”

Isak looked at him in disbelief, and Even looked down at his hands, like even he wasn’t convinced by what he was saying.

“Even—”

“You’ll experience all these other things,” Even said, finally. “With someone your age. It’ll be good.”

Isak was sick of hearing that. Even didn’t get to decide who or what was good for him. And if Isak wanted Even, and Even wanted Isak—

But _maybe he didn’_ t. The tiny voice in the back of Isak’s head planted a first seed of doubt. What if Even didn’t want anything more than summer? What if Even wanted to go back to being with people his own age? People with more experience?

Even was going to go home and meet new people and find new boys (and girls) to look at the way he looked at Isak, wasn’t he?

Isak couldn’t say _I’ll wait for you_. Or _wait for me._

Maybe, after all of this, Even would be the best thing that ever happened to him. And perhaps, even, that was how Isak would see it for the rest of his life.

But maybe Even didn’t feel that way. Maybe, despite the closeness they’d found, and despite how overwhelmingly big Isak’s feelings for Even were… maybe, with the passing of time he’d just be some kid Even almost fucked around with this summer. They’d talked, before, all of the summer ‘kids,’ about texting and calling and keeping in touch… but what did that look like for Isak and Even?

Isak was afraid of the answer to that question.

“Right,” Isak said, finding his voice. “We should go and help with dinner.”

He stood, and Even followed him as if on instinct, a look of concern covering his face.

Without a word, he pulled Isak into his arms, letting Isak bury his face in the crook of his neck.

 _I’ll miss you_ , Isak thought, pulling Even as close as he could.

“I’ll come and say goodbye when we leave,” Even said, into his hair.

He pulled back, looked into Isak’s eyes, and he kissed him once more, closed-mouthed and firm.

It felt like an ending.

   
  


10. 

Isak and Even spent the next ten months apart.

Isak went through the first month back at Grefsen like a zombie, awakening only when his phone buzzed with a snap from Even. They didn’t speak on the phone—what was there to say? Isak thought—but Even liked his facebook posts, they occasionally exchanged stupid memes on messenger. Nothing at all that would give away the fact that they’d had several mutual orgasms.

In October, pictures showed up on Even’s facebook of him with his arm around a pretty blonde girl. In November, Isak’s mother went through a bad patch. Isak stopped looking at facebook, sent a fuckload of memes that went unanswered, and no matter how hard he tried, sleep began to evade him more and more. When he did dream, he often dreamed about Even—not even touching him, but holding him close to say goodbye—which upset him just as much as it frustrated him.

Even had moved on. Just like Isak thought he would. Why couldn’t Isak do the same?

It all came to a head in the new year. One Saturday morning in February, Jonas showed up at Isak’s house and bundled him up in blankets until he felt willing to talk, and it all came tumbling out.

“Holy shit,” Jonas finally said, when Isak was done explaining it. “Bro, I’m so sorry.”

Isak probably should have led with the fact that he liked boys, but the truth was his heart felt kind of broken.

“You’re not angry?” Isak asked. “About the gay thing?”

Jonas raised his thick eyebrows as high as he could. “Uh, no, Isak,” he said, shaking his head incredulously. “But I’m angry at this guy for playing you like that.”

Isak smiled, grateful, then sighed.

“He didn’t play me. He didn’t even really want to touch me.”

Jonas shook his head in disbelief.

“Come on. What do you mean, didn’t want to?”

“It was all me,” Isak said. He looked down at his hands, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I kept convincing him. Like, I had to try so hard just for him to touch me.”

Jonas stared at him for a long moment, then shook his head once more.

“Fuck, no. Let me look at this guy.”

Jonas opened Isak’s laptop, and typed Even’s name into the search bar. Nothing came up.

“That’s... weird,” Isak said, more alert now. “Maybe he blocked me?”

“You can’t hide a whole profile from somebody,” Jonas said, frowning. “He must have deactivated. Try his instagram?”

Isak did, and—no. Even’s instagram was gone, too.

Just like that, Even had disappeared. All his photos, all his rants about Baz Luhrmann—it was all gone, just like that.

Isak figured it was temporary. That Even would return with some hipster pose and a newly finished film and a dozen new pictures of the girlfriend, and the mystery would be resolved.

But it wasn’t. The mystery remained open.

And as Isak finished his final year at Grefsen, he told himself not to think about the summer ahead. Whether he’d see Even again. Or whether, like all the years before—and like now—Even would stay away, an enigma that none of them knew how to reach. He went to the same dumb teenage parties as ever, and stood by Jonas’s side through the drama of him breaking up with Ingrid for Eva—who Isak had secretly been rooting for, if he was honest. Isak kept his sexuality mostly under wraps, but during the Constitution Day celebrations, found himself getting his first ever blowjob—from a guy who claimed to be his instagram friend—in Sara’s bathroom.

It was good, and Isak came, and there was a part of him that was thrilled when the guy let him tug down his shorts to return the favour, clumsily tugging him to completion.

He tried to hold onto that part. Look forwards, not behind.

 

11.

Isak’s sixteenth birthday was a sunny June day, and the families were having a barbecue.

Isak hadn’t spent the day looking out of the window at the empty house next door. He hadn’t spent the day checking his phone for texts, or asking Mats a series of unsubtle questions about who was around already.

Except—who was he kidding?

The night was getting dark when a familiar blonde head finally entered Isak’s line of sight.

Even sat beside Isak at the campfire, his gangly limbs seeming longer than Isak had remembered, even as he was hit with the biggest rush of deja-vu.

“Hi,” Even said, and Isak echoed it back.

He’d been preparing himself for what he might say to Even. And now he had no idea.

“Hi.

For a moment, it was silent. Then—

“I hear it’s your birthday,” Even joked, and it fell predictably flat.

“Are you gonna ask me how old I am?” Isak answered.

It wasn’t supposed to be a joke, really. Just a reminder that Isak couldn’t help pointing out.

“As if I could forget,” Even said, softly.

Isak felt it as his heart sped up—out of anger, maybe. Isak didn’t even know, but his fingernails bit into his palms as he clenched his fists.

What right did he have to be so soft? After he ghosted his way out of Isak’s life?

Even hadn’t promised Isak anything. But Isak hadn’t expected it to be so easy for Even to move on.

“I don’t know. Seems like it was pretty easy to forget for you.”

Even looked taken aback by the firmness in Isak’s tone.

“Wait, what?”

What did he mean, _what_?

“We didn’t think you were coming back this year.” Isak changed the subject, watching Even’s face twist yet further in confusion.

“Well, I did...”

“Thought you might want to stay in Drammen with your girlfriend.”

Isak knew he sounded jealous, now, but he didn’t care. Ten months later—and the feelings hadn’t gone away, for him. Fuck Even for being able to move on.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Even said, alarmed now. “I don’t—Isak, look at me.”

“I’m looking at you.”

“Can we talk? Please?”

He tried to meet Isak’s eyes, but Isak looked away.

Out of the corner of his eye, Isak saw Even reach out, then draw back his hand, like he was unsure of his welcome.  
  
"How's your mum doing?" He tried. "I didn't see her with the cake this year..."

Isak shook his head. 

That tactic wasn't going to work either. Where was Even, caring about his mother, when Isak had watched her scream and claw at her own body, feeling helpless and alone?

"What do you want?" Isak asked, eventually. "What's this about?"

Even sighed.

“Just... Can we go into town tomorrow?” he asked, his expression pleading.

And why was this so hard?

Fuck, even thinking about that first day at their little lake spot was painful. Isak felt the churn of sadness deep in his gut, and resented Even for it. On his fucking birthday, of all days, Even had to make him feel like this.

But if this proved nothing else, it was that Isak still needed closure.

“Fine,” Isak said, standing up. “Tomorrow.” Even looked like he wanted to reach out for him again, but this time he didn’t.

Isak walked away and managed not to look back.

  
-

The next morning, Isak found himself climbing into a wooden rowboat with two shiny, new looking oars. He hadn’t bothered much with his appearance that morning, still angry—just thrown on an old t-shirt and one of Jonas’s snapbacks over his short curls.

Even, by contrast, looked perfect. Effortlessly fucking cool, like always.

Isak didn’t want to look at him.

“This is your dad’s boat?” he asked, mostly to make conversation.

Even climbed into the boat behind him, wobbling a bit, and untied the rope holding them to the tiny dock. He pushed them away with his oar, then started to row them backwards, the lean muscles in his slender arms clearly stronger than they looked.

Even looked behind him to steer, barely meeting Isak’s eyes, and Isak felt his annoyance rising.

“Yeah,” Even said once they were further out into the water. “We got it fixed.”

“When?” Isak asked. They hadn’t fixed it last summer, and they’d only just arrived back yesterday. “Over the winter?”

“Yeah,” Even said, not meeting his eyes. “I was kind of… here, a lot. This year.” He paused for a long moment, and Isak wondered if he was going to continue. “I stopped going to school.”

Isak frowned.That… that wasn’t what he was expecting to hear.

“Why?”

Even pulled the oars in for a moment, settling them onto his lap to that the boat floated on the still water, no longer cutting through.

“I’m bipolar,” he said quietly, and Isak felt a jab of fear running through him at the expression on Even’s face. Sad. Apprehensive. Uncomfortable. The anger Isak had been carrying with him suddenly seemed like a heavy burden.

“What does that even mean?” Isak knew nothing about it, except what he’d seen on TV. And that didn’t seem like the best source of information.

“I was diagnosed this year, after I had a… uh. A manic episode.” Even grimaced. “And I… I had to leave my school. I couldn’t go back after.”

As Isak sat there, quiet, Even talked and talked. About what it had been like, to wake up after the mania and feel like everything was so completely hopeless. About how it had felt to lose all his friends in one fell swoop, and see the fear on his mother’s face.

By the end of his story Even looked a thousand times smaller.

When it became clear that Even wasn’t going to elaborate any further, Isak reached for his hand.

“Why didn't you tell me all this?” Isak asked, finally. “Are you saying—were you manic last summer? When we…?”

“No!” Even looked sick at the thought. “No, that’s not why. That had nothing to do with it. You were just…” he broke off, shaking his head ruefully. “Shit, you were fourteen the first day I saw you.”

“That didn’t stop you, though.”

“I felt like it should have,” Even admitted, and Isak remembered this. This was familiar territory.

This time, though, Isak was going to ask the questions he needed to ask.

“Is that why you stopped contacting me, after? Because even before your... episode, it was just like… you wanted to make it clear we were done.”

“It wasn’t like that” Even frowned. “I just didn’t want you waiting around for some, like, older guy who didn’t even live in Oslo.”

 _“_ So you wanted me to be with other people?” Isak couldn’t help asking.

“Of course I didn’t!” Even said, shaking his head. He blinked slowly, then said, soft again: “I still don’t.”

Isak recoiled at that, withdrawing his hand from Even’s. He’d forgotten he was even holding it.

“So… Is that it?” He asked cautiously. “You want to just pick up again?”

“I just want you.” Even said it like it was simple.

 _Like you wanted me last year?_ Isak wanted to say. _Now that I’m sixteen, am I magically old enough to touch you?_

He didn’t say it. He held on, like the last resort it was, to that ever diminishing piece of anger, even as it burned out into ash and dust. Isak didn’t want to be played with.

Even looked away, at the bottom of the boat, and back at Isak. Nervous, Isak realised. Even was nervous.

“My mum is moving us back to Oslo after the summer is over. She wants me to have a fresh start.”

And that was big. ‘After the summer.’ Isak felt the seed of hope within his chest begin to bloom, the feeling making his heart speed up.

“So… it would be more than a summer thing?”

“It was always more than a summer thing,” Even said, softly. “I just had some stuff to figure out.”

He exhaled.

"Isak..."

Isak let go of his anger. He let go of all of it, feeling his heart leap with something joyous in his chest.

Part of him wanted to make Even sweat a while longer, but that would mean depriving himself. He had Even here in front of him, here.

He lunged at Even, planting his mouth on his for only a second before the boat capsized, tipping them both into the cold water of the lake.

Even underwater, they found each other, their mouths desperately fused in homecoming.

  
-

  
“I thought about this so much,” Even gasped, as they tore off each other’s clothes in Even’s bathroom. He pulled Isak’s wet t-shirt over his head, fumbling with the drawstring on his own shorts. “God, those tiny shorts you used to wear.”

“Yeah?” Isak asked, pulling his swimsuit down over his hips.

“All I could think about was fucking your thighs,” Even said, absolutely no shame in his voice now.

Isak felt warm all over despite the chill of the lake water on his skin.

“You could do that,” he said hoarsely, and Even exhaled against his damp hair, body shuddering.

Isak took his shorts off all the way, his dick springing up to attention.

They were both completely naked. Together. Breathing hard. Cocks straining.

“Fuck, we need to get dry,” Even said.

He released Isak to pull two fluffy towels from the rails, ignoring his grumbling.

Isak rubbed himself down only perfunctorily until he couldn’t take it; Isak gave up and dropped his towel to the bathroom floor, yanking Even’s out of his hands, too.

He pressed Even into the cool tiles of the bathroom wall, reveling in the feeling of his skin pressing up to Even’s skin.

Even snaked a hand down to wrap around Isak’s cock—finally, finally!—and Isak bucked into him, almost laughing at his own eagerness.

“Even,” Isak said. “What you said before—”

Even sucked a bruise into the hollow of Isak’s neck, another first, and Isak clutched at his biceps, squeezing hard, trying to keep focused.

“Before?” Even pulled back, and Isak flushed, having Even’s attention on his face again.

“About you,” Isak said. “With my…” Even’s eyes flickered down to his lips. “Fucking my thighs.”

“You want that?” Even asked, and Isak snaked a hand around the back of his head, pulling him in for a slow, slick kiss. Like _of course I want that, you idiot._ Like _yes, I’ll die if you don’t._

“Your bed,” Isak said. “Can we—”

He didn’t have to finish the question. Even couldn’t get out of the bathroom fast enough, dragging Isak into his bedroom and pressing him straight down into his mattress, until the naked length of him covered Isak completely.

His skin was warming, now, and yet Isak shivered, in anticipation of what was to come. His heart was galloping a mile a minute.

As Isak lay there on his back, Even smoothed his thighs apart, just taking Isak in. Another familiar feeling; Isak squirmed, and Even ducked his head to plant a sucking kiss to Isak’s inner thigh. Then another. And another.

He kissed and bit at Isak’s pale skin-gentle shocks of pressure that made Isak want to put a hand on his cock—until Isak could feel his legs trembling, thighs shaking under Even’s ministrations.

As Even’s mouth got higher and higher, Isak tugged him up by the chin, biting into Even’s mouth in retaliation.

“Stop teasing me,” Isak huffed, when he pulled away. “I’m done waiting.”

Even looked chastised for just a second, until he saw Isak’s mouth twist into a smirk.

He kissed Isak again, crawling up his body and slowly moving Isak how he wanted him, until Isak was on his side, neck tipped back to slip his tongue into Even’s mouth.

Even’s whole body was warm now, a brand along Isak’s back. His cock rubbed against the cleft of Isak’s ass—and a thrill ran through him, for a second, imagining the other firsts they might have together.

By the end of the summer, Even might be inside him.

-

For now, though, there was this:

Even slicked up his cock with lube from his bedside drawer, and slid a hand between Isak’s thighs as they kissed. He parted Isak’s legs, and Isak’s eyes rolled back as Even’s cock slipped along Isak’s taint, resting under Isak’s balls.

Isak squeezed his thighs back together, experimentally, and Even pulled back from the kiss to pant, his face buried in Isak’s neck.

“Fuck, do that,” he said. “Fuck, Isak.”

“Feels good,” Isak admitted, reaching down to squeeze the base of his cock. He was going to come so soon—he could tell. He wanted to make this last longer, but it was so overwhelming. Nothing had ever felt like this.

Even began to roll his hips, thrusting in the channel of Isak’s thighs, and it lit Isak up. He couldn’t even explain it—just the intimacy of it, the slow friction of Even’s leaking cock under his balls. It felt so dirty, so forbidden… so much more than Isak could ever have hoped for. He felt so much all at once, to have Even like this, not holding back from him.

“Baby,” Even stuttered out, and Isak’s eyes closed.

 A year ago, Even would never have called him that, but now, it sounded like honey dripping from his mouth. Isak twisted his neck again to kiss him, and pulled Even’s hand down to his neglected cock, red and aching against his stomach.

Even took his mouth from Isak’s once more to look down at Isak’s cock in his own hand.

The look in his eyes was almost fearful with reverence.

He began to stroke in time with his thrusts, stopping just for a second to wet his hand again with the warm lube from his cock.

“Baby,” he said again, as Isak felt his orgasm building in his belly. Isak wasn’t sure he would survive it, but Even seemed to be right there with him. His thrusts were getting less rhythmic by the minute, and he could feel the sweat pouring off Even’s temple onto his shoulder.

It should have been gross, but it wasn’t.

“Is this how you pictured it?” Isak asked, the words causing even his own cock to throb in warning. “When I was fifteen?”

“Fuck, it killed me. Couldn’t touch you,” Even pants back. “Some things…”

He cut off, crying out as Isak’s thighs tightened involuntarily. Isak was right there. He was going to come; he knew it. He was surprised he’d even lasted this long.

But Even came first. Even tensed up, and Isak looked down in surprise as Even’s cock painted his thighs, his balls, in thick spurts of come.

As Even’s hand tightened on Isak, he gave in. Isak came too, groaning low and long as Even coaxed his orgasm out of him. It hit him like a freight train—Isak felt devastated by it, half-crazed. His whole body was shaking… and Even, still curled around him, wasn’t much better, his sweaty hair resting on the back of Isak’s neck as he panted shallowly against him.

“Even,” Isak said. “Even, Even, Even.”

It was a revelation. Gone was the fifteen year old boy, shamelessly chasing down what he wanted and having his heart ripped out in the process. Gone was the seventeen year old boy with guilt issues keeping the person he wanted most at arms length.

Now they were just Even and Isak. Two boys in bed together. Wrapped up in each other.

Time passed. Isak didn’t know how much it was, but it did. Their sweat cooled on their bodies, until Even rolled away from Isak’s back, and he grimaced the the tacky sensation between his legs.

He couldn’t believe they were here. And he wasn’t dreaming.

“Some things are worth the wait,” Even said, finally. Isak forced himself to roll back over, until they were eye to eye, nose to nose.

“Fuck waiting,” Isak said. “We’re done waiting.”

Even traced circles on Isak’s chest with his finger, his expression soft. Isak sighed, and Even smiled, slow and small until his eyes crinkled.

“I really missed you,” Even said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“I kept thinking of things I wanted to tell you,” Isak said back. “I didn’t think you’d want to hear them.”

“I’m sorry,” Even said again, sad and slow. “I read your messages so many times…”

 _It’s okay_ , Isak wanted to say. Even though it hadn’t been.

 _I love you_ , Isak wanted to say. Even though it was too big, and too soon.

“We have time now,” Isak said instead. “This summer, and when you’re back in Oslo…”

He remembered last year, suddenly: Even standing in the woods. How he had said _I’m tired of not being alone with you_  with those wary eyes: that hope and shame and despair.

Isak had felt that way, this year. Tired of missing Even. Tired of _being_  alone. And now, after all the time he spent wishing Even was struggling like he was, it doesn’t help to know Even felt that way too.

“Baby” he said, pulling Even in for a kiss. At the endearment, Even leaned in, pressing his smiling mouth to Isak’s.

They were close, now.

Closer than Isak had ever been to anyone but Even.

“Touch me?” Isak said, now, pulling Even’s hands up to cup his face.

He leant in again, for the sweetest of kisses.

“Yes,” Even breathed into his mouth.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The following occur while Isak is 15 and Even is 17:
> 
> \- Even walks in on Isak while he is touching himself. He does not intend to, and leaves almost immediately.  
> \- Isak makes a pass at Even while intoxicated, which Even declines  
> \- Even kisses Isak but pulls back when Isak becomes aroused  
> \- Isak comes unexpectedly while kissing Even; it is not described in detail  
> \- Isak and Even masturbate next to each other in broad daylight, but do not touch  
> \- Even watches Isak masturbate  
> \- Even calls Isak and talks Isak into an orgasm in a friend's bathroom  
> \- Even and Isak engage in frottage after a party at which there is alcohol present; neither boy drinks any
> 
> If you want more info, or to come shout about Evak with me, I'm on tumblr at [towonderland72](http://towonderland72.tumblr.com), and on twitter: @kittpurrson.


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